Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Friday, June 14, 2024

My New Daily Affirmations

  • White Knight IDIOT
  • Pick Me Girl FOOL
  • NOBODY wants you, not even as a friend
  • Nobody will EVER want you
  • You have NOTHING to offer
  • You are NOTHING
Hope is the enemy. Hope corrodes the soul, disfigures the spirit. I need to remember that I have nothing for anyone, nobody wants anything I have to give. I've been chanting these reminders to keep top of mind that I'm stupid, an idiot, a moron, a fool to think I could offer anyone anything. I'm old, fat and ugly. I'm neurotic, boring and broken. The sooner I accept that and kill all possibility of hope, the better.

Sometimes I wish I had the courage to end myself.

Hello, hello
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero
Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel
Like I'm empty and there's nothing really real, real
I'm looking for a way out
Hello, hello
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero
Let me show you what it's like to never feel, feel
Like I'm good enough for anything that's real, real
I'm looking for a way out
{Imagine Dragons, "Zero"}

I may be having a bit of a
nervous breakdown