Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


and god said unto moses
on the fucking mountain:
kill the homosexual
for He is evil
i made Him
to hate Him
punish Him
for the way He was born
nature has shown Him no mercy
and neither shall you
for  mercy unto Him
is unjust in the eyes of god


First of all, I've never been a fan of untitled works because "Untitled" becomes the de facto, as above.  But I have no real title for this.  I'm not sure this has much artistic merit has, though it is obviously raw pathos and anger.  I wrote this as an impromptu stream of consciousness at the end of a very drunken, very fucked up evening my freshman year in college.  Add one part unresolved emotion, one part coming to terms with my sexuality with a dash of being closeted and then add alcohol.  Stand back and watch the fireworks.  That night was one of the most messed up nights in my life, and I could write volumes about what was going on in my head and all the things I did that evening.  Suffice it to say that I went around to just about every person I knew (making a complete ass out of myself), trying to find someone to save me.  I also lashed out at someone more viciously than I ever had before or since simply because she was a person and not a two-dimensional prop in my sturm und drang of selfish emotional need.