Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Just Sad

Last night I did an internet search on Colin Farrell, making sure I was spelling his name correctly in my post about Total Recall.  Anyway, I found out that he was the victim of a stalker, who actually rushed him during the live taping of a "Tonight Show" interview.  She claims that Farrell had been stalking her and that she was only trying to serve him with court papers.  She self-published a book titled Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy and a song "Colin Farrell Is My Bitch."

She also posted a YouTube rant that you can play below.

Leaving the issue of whether or not her claims have any merit whatsoever aside, I at first thought it was funny just watching her crazy unfold unchecked.  But then I started to think about how sad it all is, how much pain she must be in and what traumas in her life (and probably childhood) brought her to this point.

She reminds me of a tableau I once witnessed while living in Hollywood.  This guy in unconvincing drag and a cheap blonde wig was screaming at his boyfriend about how he didn't love him.  It was quite the scene, and I wasn't the only spectator, even in jaded Los Angeles.  Everyone I told the story to remarked about how hysterical it all must have been, but really I just felt sorry for the guy.  It was obvious that he was hurting and unhappy, and again one can only imagine the experiences that had brought his life to that point.

A Basket Case Myself

Perhaps I can sympathize more than most because I'm one misfired synapse away from a complete mental breakdown.  Sometimes it's all I can do not to burst into tears while watching the mawkish resolution of some uninspired sitcom or even a saccharine children's cartoon.  All of that unresolved emotion bubbling under the surface of my consciousness is truly frightening to me sometimes.

Austerity Measures

Day 2 and still on track.  Of course, once again, whenever I do anything with an eye towards the future, my anxieties go into overtime (see above).  For the time being, I will change to a different kind of personal roundup:

Diet: Followed without cheating
Gym: Went
Finances: No extraneous purchases