Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Urinal Stances

I've spent a lot of years observing men's behavior in public restrooms.  Not in the way you might be thinking of!  (OK, there was that one time...)  But I've notice that a lot of guys adopt a particular stancestriking a kind of pose, if you willwhile at the urinal.  My theory is that using a public urinal produces a vestigial feeling of vulnerability that brings out a defensive instinct, and a guy's stance is a learned behavior designed to overcome this.  Or maybe people are just weird.

Here are the archetypes which I have personally observed:
  • The Plain Jane:  Purely functional...Get in, get out.
  • The Multitasker:  Reading something held in one hand.
  • The Gregarious:  Talking or texting on a cell phone.
  • The Teapot:  One fist on a hip, arm crooked.
  • The Superhero:  Both fists on hips, feet wide apart.
  • The Eyes-On-Your-Own-Work:  Hunched over, shielded from view.
  • The Eyes-On-Other's-Work:  Has a roving gaze.  Not necessarily gay, might just be doing a comparative analysis.