Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Unbearable Agony of Being

Considering how dedicated I am to the principle of the preciousness of life and the preservation of life, it is ironic how much I actually thoroughly despise being alive.

Last night, in a rare moment of quietude from my elder cat Bailey, I was stroking him gently while I lay down in bed.  Bailey is fifteen years old, which translates to roughly 76 years old in human terms.  He used to be a large cat, but now he has shriveled down to almost literally skin and bones.  He has access to food 24/7, but age has diminished his apetite and his body's ability to create muscle and fat.

I spiralled down into thinking how it won't be long before Bailey is gone from me forever.  I raised him from a kitten, and I know that his loss will devastate me.  I know also that I will torture myself for the rest of my days with memories of every sharp word, every unkindness I ever showed him and berate myself into believing that I never did right by him.

Life is nothing but an endless process of decay.  Our lives slip away from us and break down until every thing that we hold dear and everything that we cherish dissipates into the entropic unraveling of being.  We greedily snatch what little moments of pleasure we can actually steal from life, but it is little more than a lie and an illusion to get us through our days.

Stop the Culture Wars...I Want to Get Off

The Chick-Fil-A fiasco is finally winding down.  Last Wednesday thousands of the faithful went out to show their support in an unofficial "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day."  Then last Friday gays around the country protested the chain with a same-sex kissing day.  I made the mistake of reading the articles about the events and the tragic mistake of reading the comments.

Opinions are like assholes:  Everybody's got one, and they ain't too pretty.

I'm tired of both sides and of endless rhetoric.  When I was living with my parents, they used to watch Bill O'Reilly every night while we ate salad together.  I had to stop eating with them because I just couldn't stand watching The O'Reilly Factor anymore.  It wasn't so much the conservative opinions being expressed as it was that I was fed up with talking heads.  My sympathies often lie with the political left, although a lot less often than my conservative parents seem to realize.  But the left can be just as fascist and intolerant of dissent as the right.  The city councilman trying to bar Chick-Fil-A from being able to open a restaurant in his jurisdiction is a perfect example.  That's an abuse of power and totalitarian thinking.  Don't infringe on the rights of others, even if you think you are doing it for a noble cause.

Austerity Measures

Don't ask.