Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Friday, June 29, 2012


When we met,
It was a bolt
Like a prophecy coming true.
It took my lust
To turn me around,
With the promise
Of a retractile goodbye.

Infatuation consumes me,
But I will always live
For the sunbursts of your love
And the passion that you give.
I know that our life is a mess,
But our life is a scream.
And I can never say forever;
It's just one of those things.
But my feelings
Are a moment in time ever true.
For one pure instant,
I want to spend my life with you.


Just plain love.  I've only had one significant relationship in my life.  (I don't know why; it's certainly not for lack of trying.  But I always manage to screw things up amazingly quickly whenever I actually manage to attract a man I'm attracted to in the first place.)  This poem was written about that man.  We certainly had our share of ups and downs, mostly because I was batshit crazy and this man has a pattern of poor relationship choices.  But I still remember the moment that inspired the poem.  We were out driving, and I remember turning to look at my love and really feeling that spending my life with him might be a good thing.  We did break up, but we've managed to stay in touch and friends all these years.

Personally, I really like this poem, for the fact that it is the only love poem I've ever written that wasn't about unrequited love if for nothing else.  I've posted it here because I just don't think it would be considered polished enough for publication, and it has too much meaning for me to want to edit it in any way.