In my final entry for "Reposting Week," I am reposting something I wrote for one of my previous blog incarnations. I'm not really a humorist, and this may be out of the sphere of experiences for most people. But hopefully some will enjoy.
10 Things I Learned From Watching Gay Porn
- Every man entering a public restroom is looking for gay sex.
- Men routinely wear cock rings while doing day-to-day activities such as mowing the lawn.
- ALL male police officers and military men are gay.
- Naval ships are great big bathhouses on the ocean.
- In fact, pretty much every guy is at least bi.
- Conversation is like foreplay—completely unnecessary and usually poorly executed.
- Gay sex is like a holiday party—the more, the merrier.
- Prison can be fun.
- Leather is like American Express—don't leave home without it.
- Size DOES matter