Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Sunday, October 14, 2012

10 Things I Learned From Watching Gay Porn

In my final entry for "Reposting Week," I am reposting something I wrote for one of my previous blog incarnations.  I'm not really a humorist, and this may be out of the sphere of experiences for most people.  But hopefully some will enjoy.
10 Things I Learned From Watching Gay Porn
  1. Every man entering a public restroom is looking for gay sex.
  2. Men routinely wear cock rings while doing day-to-day activities such as mowing the lawn.
  3. ALL male police officers and military men are gay.
  4. Naval ships are great big bathhouses on the ocean.
  5. In fact, pretty much every guy is at least bi.
  6. Conversation is like foreplay—completely unnecessary and usually poorly executed.
  7. Gay sex is like a holiday party—the more, the merrier.
  8. Prison can be fun.
  9. Leather is like American Express—don't leave home without it.
  10. Size DOES matter