Seeing as how I had a mind to devote an entire website to my poor decision making, it's not hard to fathom that I'm a prisoner of making bad choices now. It's not even noon yet, and I'm already thinking about drinking again tonight...like I did last night...like I did the night before. I've got a new video game installed and ready to play. Is it a good idea? No. Will it give me even a modicum of pleasure that I crave so? Perhaps. I've realized that, even when I'm staying sober, I've been chasing pleasure like an addict, whether it's with food or entertainment or anything else—regardless of the cost—that I think will keep the sadness and fear at bay.
You Can Only Control Your Behavior
You have to change your behavior to change your life. I have to move my thinking and my behavior away from the folly of chasing transient pleasure. And yet I feel so lost and adrift in the endless ocean of my mood, barely keeping my head above water, that I have trouble in differentiating between good and bad choices against the perspective of an infinite horizon in all directions with no solid ground to anchor myself to.
...and when
I finally let my guard down
I was in the middle of the sea and drowning, drowning, drowning
{Lower Dens, "Brains"}
You Can Only Control Your Behavior
You have to change your behavior to change your life. I have to move my thinking and my behavior away from the folly of chasing transient pleasure. And yet I feel so lost and adrift in the endless ocean of my mood, barely keeping my head above water, that I have trouble in differentiating between good and bad choices against the perspective of an infinite horizon in all directions with no solid ground to anchor myself to.
...and when
I finally let my guard down
I was in the middle of the sea and drowning, drowning, drowning
{Lower Dens, "Brains"}
