Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Slaying My Second Monkey

I am trying to get the caffeine monkey off my back this long weekend.  I'm tired of drugs causing me wild fluctuations in my mood and my arousal level.  So now that the acute effects of alcohol withdrawal are waning, (eight days sober!) I've gone back to being moody(er), cranky(er) and exhausted(er).  Actually, to tell the truth, I had a glimmer of optimism and hope for the future today, so that was kind of weird.  I've been getting weekly "lipo shots" for the past few weeks.  I don't know how much benefit they're actually giving me, particularly to my energy, but my friend Jon always told me never to underestimate the placebo effect.
My primary vector for getting my caffeine fix was caffeine pills because I don't really like coffee very much, though I did develop a taste for Starbucks' skinny vanilla lattes with an extra espresso shot for potency.  As expensive as their coffee is, it doesn't hurt my brand loyalty that they pay their employees higher than minimum wage and offer healthcare even to those working part-time.  Plus, their CEO recently defended gay marriage.