Seeking joy and meaning in a joyless mind and meaningless existence

Tuesday, May 13, 2014


Seeing as how I consider myself to be out of time, as part as my effort to do EVERYTHING RIGHT, I went to bed at a decent time last night.  Unfortunately, I'm only four days into my sobriety, so I'm still feeling the physical effects of alcohol withdrawal.  (In fact, being tired and unable to cope is one of the strongest factors in feeding the cycle of continued drinking.)  I was so zonked this morning that I incorporated the sound of my alarm clock into my dream.  I was yelling at someone to stop the noise and ripping batteries out of a device I thought was making it.
The video below shows just how I've been feeling at work this week.
11th Hour Emergency
I don't know if I can do it.  I don't know if I can stay sober in the context of my life right now.  I'm so tired and feel so low.  Perhaps I've just been fooling myself over the past 30 years.  Perhaps it's truly time to let all hope die...